Wow! I cannot believe the summer in DC has come to an end. There are so many areas of our lives that have been affected by this one summer, and now it is time to take these lessons back home with us. For the longest I knew I was not alone in being a person with a disability, but I felt lost on how to accept what it meant to me- Keri Gray. I felt I didn’t have an example or people to talk to who have struggled with the things I’ve struggled with. That left me to figure things out on my own, which I was doing in a slower pace than necessary and with many relapses.
Then the opportunity to work in DC happened. Over the course of the summer I interacted with people who have such passion in obtaining equal rights for all. They visibly showed their scars as marks of beauty, and that’s all I desired to do. I gained strength and motivation this summer to never hide. Further, a gained doorway into a community that will always support me in direction I have taken in life. AAPD and Capitol Hill connected me to two communities that built on me personally and professionally, and I am forever grateful.
So what’s next for me? This will be my senior year in my undergraduate study at Abilene Christian University. I am very excited to graduate in May 2012 with B.A.’s in Political Science and Communications with a minor in Public Service. I am as well preparing to take the LSAT and apply to law school in the DC and Texas area. I am excited for all our futures! Though it is the final chapter of this summer, it is the beginning of a connection with many many people. I am excited to say I feel a part of the disability community, and hope to give back as much as they have graciously given me!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
Fighting Insecurities
People first! The other day I had an encounter with someone who means a lot in my life. It showed me how far I have come, and just how much further I had to go.
I was very casually dressed in an over-sized t-shirt and some shorts doing some work on my laptop. I felt very comfortable and I knew nothing was about to disturb me because it was one of those day when I was casually laying in the bed doing some work with my prosthesis off laying in a corner. Until all of sudden there was a knock on my door. Absentminded, thinking it was one of my roommates I called out “come in.” However, it was not one of my roommates…it was someone who means a lot to me in my life, and yet has not seen this side of me. He glances over and see’s my prosthetic limb, and then comes straight over and begins telling me about his day like any other time. Yet, as he talks my mind is spinning of insecure thoughts. What does he think? This isn’t normal? He’s curious? He wants to ask me about my leg? Is he going to think its weird? Yet through those questions I knew I was okay. After calming myself down I was good.
Then the moment happened. You know how when you’re sitting in a position for so long that your leg begins to numb up so bad that you have to get up and stretch it? Yeah..of course in one of my moments of insecurity that would happen causing me to have to get up and stretch inevitably exposing my one-legged figure even more. I tried to fight it, but I had to get up. It was at the moment that I immediately wanted to hide. Grab my covers shove them over me, and hide. Errrrrrrrrrrr!!! Yet, why should I hide! I know I am not alone in my feelings where I let insecurities take over the truth of the matter. The truth is I am a person like any other who should completely accept me. I have come a long way, but I can never forget the beauty of who I am. In that moment I forgot. You may have a relapse as well, but know we have to get back up again! I got back up, and got my composure together because I refused to continue to hide. It’s hard for me, but I don’t desire nor will I give up.
This past week was great going to the ADA 21st Anniversary Celebration. I saw so many strong and passionate people, and being around a crowd like that can only motivate you to keep pushing towards the next level. I’m so blessed, and I’m so thankful for my life and the opportunities that are before me. I could have died a long time ago, but I constantly have to remember God choose me to live. Why? I may not completely know the answer to that, but what I continue to do with my life will show my appreciation. People first!
I was very casually dressed in an over-sized t-shirt and some shorts doing some work on my laptop. I felt very comfortable and I knew nothing was about to disturb me because it was one of those day when I was casually laying in the bed doing some work with my prosthesis off laying in a corner. Until all of sudden there was a knock on my door. Absentminded, thinking it was one of my roommates I called out “come in.” However, it was not one of my roommates…it was someone who means a lot to me in my life, and yet has not seen this side of me. He glances over and see’s my prosthetic limb, and then comes straight over and begins telling me about his day like any other time. Yet, as he talks my mind is spinning of insecure thoughts. What does he think? This isn’t normal? He’s curious? He wants to ask me about my leg? Is he going to think its weird? Yet through those questions I knew I was okay. After calming myself down I was good.
Then the moment happened. You know how when you’re sitting in a position for so long that your leg begins to numb up so bad that you have to get up and stretch it? Yeah..of course in one of my moments of insecurity that would happen causing me to have to get up and stretch inevitably exposing my one-legged figure even more. I tried to fight it, but I had to get up. It was at the moment that I immediately wanted to hide. Grab my covers shove them over me, and hide. Errrrrrrrrrrr!!! Yet, why should I hide! I know I am not alone in my feelings where I let insecurities take over the truth of the matter. The truth is I am a person like any other who should completely accept me. I have come a long way, but I can never forget the beauty of who I am. In that moment I forgot. You may have a relapse as well, but know we have to get back up again! I got back up, and got my composure together because I refused to continue to hide. It’s hard for me, but I don’t desire nor will I give up.
This past week was great going to the ADA 21st Anniversary Celebration. I saw so many strong and passionate people, and being around a crowd like that can only motivate you to keep pushing towards the next level. I’m so blessed, and I’m so thankful for my life and the opportunities that are before me. I could have died a long time ago, but I constantly have to remember God choose me to live. Why? I may not completely know the answer to that, but what I continue to do with my life will show my appreciation. People first!
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